A Teenager Poem about When I Was 15 Years Old
When I was 15
When I was 15 people told me I was beautiful,
And I wanted to look them in the eyes and say what do you mean by that?
What is beautiful? And why did you think I was so?
But instead, I would smile at them and say thank you
Because I did not want to come across as rude, not accepting their compliments.
But how could I even accept it when I really never understood it.
When I was 15, people told me you were beautiful
And I never really understood why people said it.
Then I found out there were not talking about what I really was but how I actually looked.
When I was 15, people told me I was beautiful
And I had to accept it the way they told me
And it was a validation for my beauty .
But I thought why can’t I feel beautiful on my own?
Why do I need their comments to make me feel beautiful?
When I was 15 , make ups did not exist for me
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For me, it was wearing loose clothes
And acting to be me
Until my classmates would laugh at me and
Accusing me of being fake and “wanna be”
But they did not realize themselves being a paint book
Where they would wear makeups 2 inches thick and I would laugh
Because the world thought that was a beauty.
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When I was 15, people told me you were beautiful
And when they said god doesn’t make mistake I would always want to scream out loud and say what about me?
Because I always felt I needed correction
When I saw myself in the mirror all I could see was my acne, my joint eyebrows , my teeth
The fact that I didn’t coincide with all those girls in the magazine and the movies
Made me want to stay up in a dark place all by myself.
The meaning of beauty changed for me one day.
It all changed when I was on a crowded bus and a girl was laughing at the book she was reading.
And in the hustle among the people , it distracted my mind and that was beauty to me
It confused me for a moment because I wasn’t talking about her appearance.
I ran home and look up the mirror and asked myself “are you beautiful?”
And for the first time I was answered with yes you are
And I repeated that 100 times until my ear heard the echo of the word .
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I finally found the beauty around me and it was not people who look prettier
It was the people and small things that made me happy each day
It was everyone without whom my life would still have been a blank page
It was the moment I was living in
And that was all beauty for me.
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People die with the fact that they are futile
And they deserve to be set back
They die and even live with the fact that
They are not beautiful
Just because people around them made beauty a dictionary definition.
Well, don’t, because you are beautiful and you will always be one .
Poet : Susaan Basel
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