Conventional Sherpa Marriage in Nepal
As you approach a particular age you are made discerning of a bundle with a ‘made-in-paradise’ mark. This creation is referred to all the more fittingly as marriage.
Between finding the individual who will attempt together with you to run this invention, and the first occasion when you give it a shot is the assignment of gathering the endeavors and occasions that pave the way to marriage.
It is this middle of the road time frame that we should concern ourselves here, on account of the Sherpas.
The Sherpas are constantly enthused about getting things done on the correct day, cosmologically put, on a favorable day.
The day chose to approach the young lady’s home with a proposition to be engaged is chosen in the wake of counseling the celestial diagrams of the imminent lady of the hour and prepare. Their creature signs, which are presented upon them as indicated by their introduction to the world dates, are additionally coordinated for similarity.
The unexpected that goes to the young lady’s home includes a couple of the kid’s nearby relatives; ideally, those whose guardians are as yet alive, and, on the off chance that they have living grandparents, so much the better. The prep’s folks notwithstanding, are not some portion of this gathering to the lady of the hour’s home.
This heading toward the lady of the hour’s home to request her turn in marriage is known as Sodené (‘To Ask’). The function is fundamentally the introducing by the kid’s gathering of a container of home-made brew, chhyang, to the young lady’s folks. With the lager acknowledged and alcoholic, the young lady verifiably has a place with the kid’s family.
The length between the engagement (Sodené) and the marriage is inconclusive. The kid is allowed by custom to visit the young lady’s home and stay, and physical relations are started by the couple.
The following function in the succession of them paving the way to the wedding service is the Dem-Chhyang. The general population who constitute the wedding parade, or janti, on the big day, go to the young lady’s home for Dem-Chhyang.
The prep is not some portion of this parade. In spite of the fact that the prep’s family communicates their longing to hold Dem-Chhyang, to begin with, the date is commonly chosen by the two sides. Chhyang is by and conveyed as a blessing by the prepare’s gathering.
Once in the young lady’s home, and as a show of regard to the young lady’s side, the kid’s relatives demonstrate regard by offering them chhyang and by setting khata scarves on their shoulders. With these motions of regard finished, those present from the young lady’s side reacted by welcoming the janti for a feast at their homes.
This is known as Janti-Kyongup, signifying ‘To Entertain the Procession’. Turn-by-turn, every individual from the lady of the hour’s family must host the kid’s relatives. The term of the Janti-Kyongup fluctuates, contingent upon the quantity of the receiving families. With the parade’s need of victuals more than met, they leave. Dem-Chhyang serves to brace the unsaid ties between the couple, the establishments of which were laid amid the Sodené.
Dem-Chhyang, however a definitive service, does not rush the sides towards the wedding. Time is given to the young lady’s family to get ready for the big day. The length is again vague.
A high-minded lady of the hour—each prep’s family has a favorable opinion of their forthcoming girl in-law—is somebody one needs to usher into their family as quickly as time permits. ‘As quickly as time permits’ may perhaps transform into just—soon’.
So we go to the following service: Pey-Chhyang (from pey signifying ‘meeting’). After an obliging period (the kind in light of the fact that the kid’s side settles on their choices remembering the young lady’s family, dependable) from Dem-Chhyang, the gathering on the kid’s side sets out on a promising day to the young lady’s home with a proposed date for the wedding. This speculative date might be set no less than a half year consequently.
The young lady’s family unit is educated of the entry of the kid’s gathering for Pey-Chhyang, and welcome the general population who were available for Dem-Chhyang. These invitees have a say on the determination of the wedding date, for they have by and by to have the janti on the big day.
The date proposed by the kid’s side could conceivably be acknowledged as the young lady’s side regard suitable. On the off chance that rejected, the kid’s side must go ahead one more day, with another date for the wedding.
In the event that the date is acknowledged, this is what takes after.
Seven days before the big day, in the lady of the hour’s home, the Nor Longgup is held. ‘Nor’, in Sherpa, signifies ‘property’; consequently, Nor Longgup is the ‘Demand for Dowry’ service. The lady of the hour’s folks, who have kept aside their parental commitment, turn on this day to their nearby relatives and neighbors to make commitments to their girl’s share.
Today, the endowments that are given in share may have made some amazing progress from the days of yore when a cover of yak-fleece was the best blessing one could give, which was given just by the nearest of relatives. The estimation of the blessings given mirrors the connection that ties the supplier and the beneficiary; the nearer the ties, the costlier the blessing.
The Sherpas are knowledgeable in the craft of blessing giving. The things given as endowments amid Nor Longgup are chosen in order to aid the everyday life of the lady of the hour. This judiciousness in blessing giving is reflected in the convention of giving the lady substantial copper containers for putting away water. The basis for this blessing is the absence of accessibility of running water.
While introducing blessings one needs to pronounce its esteem. The esteem is then recorded and, when a young lady from that individual’s family is hitched, an endowment of an equivalent, if not higher, esteem is exhibited.
Upon the arrival of the Nor Longgup, the lady of the hour’s folks asks for from among those present the administrations of their girls to be kermens. The lady’s share is required by custom to be transported physically and this obligation tumbles to these kermens, young ladies, who likewise become friends with the lady of the hour on her way to the prepare’s home.
The prep’s wedding parade incorporates similar individuals who were in the gathering for Dem-Chhyang, to which more might be included, including one known as Kholluwa, a layman who can play out the obligations of a minister, and the other, obviously, the prepare. The prep is clad in a yellow brocade bakkhu (outfit), a customary top and, ideally, high boots.
Chhyang, the pre-prominent thing, is conveyed in wooden jugs, called dozum. The prepare’s gathering likewise conveys femar, a cone-shaped cake made by massaging flour with margarine, the span of which remains for the status of the family. They prepare femar is later traded with the one arranged by the lady of the hour’s side.
The Kholluwa dependably drives the wedding parade, conveying a work of art—the Sipa Kholu painting. The Kholluwa is in this manner situated to enable him to avert malicious spirits from the way of the parade.
Conchs are blown to the flag, the begin of the trip to the lady of the hour’s home and to offer assurance against negative powers. A fire lit in the patio signs to the lady’s relatives the appearance of they prepare’s wedding parade or janti. The Kholluwa plays out the Serkim, a religious custom before the janti begin off.
The wedding parade from the prepare’s home to the lady of the hours is practically serious; there is no singing or moving in transit. Vitals for the arrival adventure’s moving is brought along, in any case, including a few yak-tails, ideally white, and a sword.
With incense consuming in the lady of the hour’s patio, young ladies with bread, chhyang, and curd anticipate in a line to welcome the wedding parade.
Upon the janti’s entry, the Kholluwa at the end of the day plays out the Serkim, and the janti go into the lady’s home and are situated. The seating design is various leveled; ladies more often than not sit on the floor, and men and ladies sit independently.
A light feast is served, after which the lady’s side start the procedure of presentation, known as Mola. A man from the lady of the hour’s side suggests the janti’s clothing, gems, physiognomy, in a light way verging on the quip. A man from the prep’s side, picked only for this event restores the compliments with bantering comments.
After this, they prepare changes into a lighter bakkhu (outfit) and everybody takes a seat to supper.
The dinner is trailed by the Janghtar, where the young lady’s relatives are offered chhyang, which must be flushed from a similar glass, and khatas are put on their shoulders. This is done in various leveled arrange. The prep’s gathering must at that point sing no less than three melodies and move to them. This is accomplished for favorable luck.
At that point, individuals from the lady of the hour’s side welcome the janti to their homes for supper. This facilitating of the janti goes on for a few days. The calendar for this facilitating is fixed to the point that the keep going receiving family on a day is a nearby relative of the lady of the hour and must give haven to a portion of the janti.
Upon the arrival of the janti’s takeoff, a service called the Gyen-Kudup is held. A couple of “Swastik” signs (for good fortunes), one for the preparation and the other for the lady of the hour, are made out of rice grains on a yak-fleece cover laid out level. After the prep wears his stylized brocade outfit by and by, it is propitious for the couple to tread on this cover with their correct foot.
The prep must sit on the privilege, the lady to one side, both joined by a companion. A proficient individual from the lady of the hour’s side at that point tends to each one of those present, perusing resoundingly the substance of the lady of the hour’s share and the qualities.
The Kholluwa plays out the Serkim, and curd is given to the lady of the hour and prepares to eat. Two seniors, one from the lady of the hour’s and one from the prep’s side, are chosen to put spread on the prepare’s and the lady of the hour’s head, separately. They offer favors and counsel to the recently married.
From there on, yells of “lha-gyalo!” soften out up harmony, thrice, signifying ‘Triumph to the Gods’, and subsequently, triumph to everybody display.
The love birds request the favors of their folks. The lady of the hour presents blessings to her folks and kin, at that point disappears.
A fire is lit in the lady of the hour’s patio to tell the prep’s family unit of the janti’s arrival. The Kholluwa drives the prepare, trailed by the lady of the hour, alongside the kermens conveying the settlement.
In the patio, female delegates from each family that facilitated the janti are arranged, holding chhyang jugs. The Kholluwa plunges dhupi (incense) saplings into the jugs to perform Serkim, which comes full circle in cries of “lya-gyalo” and the hurling of rice grains.
The womenfolk lie up and, as a byproduct of their neighborliness, are paid cash by the janti, beginning with the prepare’s folks who pay the most noteworthy sum. Alternate individuals from the janti pay less, shifting with their connection to the prep. With the finish of this service, the janti continues to the prepare’s home.
The parade is invited at the prep’s home by young ladies and after Serkim the lady of the hour is introduced her new home. The janti scatter after a short session of moving and singing. Dong-chhyang begins around the same time and proceeds for a few days amid which the prepare’s relatives visit the family with endowments.
This blessing giving likewise occurs in a various leveled arrange; the nearest relatives visit initially took after by more inaccessible ones and by neighbors. The blessings given are recorded and, when a comparative occasion takes places, must be responded.
The kermen young ladies are facilitated by the prepare’s relatives for a couple of days joined by the lady. This familiarizes the lady of the hour to her new relations. Upon the arrival of the kermens’ takeoff, the prep’s side sends a flag-bearer to the lady of the hour’s home with a summons.
A little gathering comprising of the lady of the hour’s folks and close relatives arrive and dinner is served. Moving and singing likewise happen. The subtle elements of the share are declared from a report and the lady of the hour’s dad hands over this archive to the eldest individual from the prep’s family.
This little unexpected at that point leaves together with the kermen, who say goodbye to the lady of the hour by singing tunes routed to the prepare and his folks, communicating both the confidence they have in them and a demand to treat their companion well.
This socially rich and captivating way of Sherpa marriage, of joining two individuals, is special in the aggregate exertion of the guardians, relatives, and neighbors included. It is a social event in its most genuine sense, reflecting solid common bonds.
Circumstances are different thus have the conventional methods of marriage simply depicted. Along these lines, this record of how it was done generally, in the days of yore, may not really be steady with the common methods of current Sherpa marriage.
In the event that any of you single men perusing this choose (and if our story has anything to do with your choice) to wed, I wish all of you the good fortune. In any case, since I began by expressing the organization of marriage as a creation in a fair sales representative like the way (however I neither advance nor put down the possibility of marriage) I am obliged to state to you: admonition emptor.