There is a solution for every problem, but my girlfriend does not.
I am neither Spiderman nor Superman. However I am a superhero for my girlfriend!
I’m the hot guy with a great attitude.
For each problem there is a solution … If there is no solution, it is a girl!
Dear Mario, I have wasted my childhood saving your girlfriend. Now you help me save mine.
Men also feel, likewise, they may feel HUNGRY.
80% of boys have girlfriends and the rest 20% have brains.
In my house I am the boss, my wife is the only one who makes the decisions.
Dear children, do not worry, this time there is no girlfriend. Remember that the bad always have the best friend, but never the best woman.
Rather than being beautiful and useless, it’s better to be strong.
Men get together in bars for two reasons: either they do not have a wife to go home, or they have it.
Every boys in the world are great, every girl in the world should have one.
I am the man of the year.
Girls express their emotions through tears. The children express their feelings about the beers.
A naughty thought one day away stress.
A man in love is incomplete until the wedding. Then it is done.
We all are the architect of own fortune.
A thinking person can never be brave.
Some men have hundreds of reasons why they cannot do what they want, if they just need a reason.
The fact that I do not have a girlfriend does not mean I’m alone, I have food and the internet.
Girls are not different then stars on the sky, there are millions of them, but the only one makes your dreams come true.
I am not lazy, I am a teacher of energy saving.
I know that the voices in my head are not real, but sometimes their ideas are great.
When any bird hits your window, have you ever think like that if God plays Angry Birds with you?
My girlfriend says I have to be tender … Now I have 2 friends!
My wife and I lived happily for 25 years and then we met …
Childhood is like a drunk, everyone remembers what you did except you.
A good friend would throw you out of jail, but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you and say, damn it, it was great.
Good friends will share the screen. The best friends will steal it and shout: It’s great, run now!
Everyone has an annoying friend. If you do not have one, you probably are.
Warning !!! I know KARATE and some other oriental words.
Whenever I drink alcohol then Everyone says I’m an alcoholic. But, when I drink Fanta then No one says I’m fantastic.
If I do not buy anything then I have enough money to support me for the rest of my life.
I only love my job when I’m enjoying vacation.
I love everyone! There are some people that I love, and others that I like to avoid. And then there are others that I would like to hit in the face.
They say we learn from our mistakes. So I do as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius.
Friends come and go, but this ass enemies stay and never go.
Tom N Jerry has shown me that life without boredom is boring.
I started with nothing and most still have 🙂
Some people are so FALSE that if you look directly at the back of your neck, a label appears that says MADE IN CHINA: D
I’m always late for the office, but I can do it by going earlier.
You can do me a favor Take a picture and send it to me. I play cards and I miss the wild card.
I’m pretty sure the entire first lady was created by a man, just to try @ss.
I’m so ugly, I asked myself and I said no.
They say do not drink and do not drive. Well … Yesterday I took a box of juices while driving my tricycle. Yes. I am a bad @ ss.
Patience is not a virtue. It’s just a waste of time! : P
If you think you are not capable to make a difference, then you might be sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.
People say I have my dirty mind, but let me clear you on my behalf, that it’s just creative!
Without enthusiasm, nothing great was ever achieved.
If nothing is going well! Go left.