Arranged Marriages & Divorce in Nepal
In Nepal, the rate of divorce is very low as compared to western countries. Cases of divorce are rarely seen and heard of.
But, having said that, we should also take into account the fact that people are not basically free in their choice of life and marriage.
From the start, it is about compromise. Love is not a prerequisite for marriage. That is why Nepali people marry with the expectations of compromise. As a result, they do not expect too much and as a result, the marriages seem to be working very well.
But, as times changed, the same attitude changed. Everyone started realizing that marriage is for happiness rather than just compromise. So, these days, the rate of divorces have also been getting higher.
Divorces are on the rise because of many different reasons in Nepal. Few of the reasons are given below:
Realization of Freedom in Choice
Until a few years earlier, nobody knew of the idea of freedom when it came to the choice of the best partner for life. Everyone depended on the family to find the perfect groom or bride. Nobody cared that they can themselves find good matches for themselves.
But as times changed, people started realizing that everyone has the freedom to choose their own life partners and to decide who they would be happier with. The family is at its own place but it does not mean that one should do whatever the family says.
When it comes to personal life, one’s own preference is utmost. Realizing this, many people who were in bad relationships decided to end it and get divorced, rather than be in it for reasons that do not serve any purpose.
Education and Awareness
As people started getting educated, they came to realize that marriage is a personal issue rather than social and family issue. It is more about compatibility with the person you should marry, not compromise.
Family cannot be very successful in choosing the best person you should marry.
All these kinds of awareness came to people after they got themselves educated. As a result, those who were stuck in bad relationships started to realize that they can get out of the relationship that is only making their lives miserable.
The divorce became a Trend
In addition to making an informed decision about separating from unwanted relation, there are also people who get divorced just because it is in the trend. Since many people are getting divorced, it made impressions on younger generations.
That is why they grew up realizing that they can just get rid of relations after a while. Rather than being true to the person and working to make it better, they go for the easy way out. It is an unfortunate consequence resulting from a rise in divorce rates in Nepal recently.
Women empowerment has also been a reason that has contributed to the occurrence of divorces in the country. Earlier, women were made to get married at a very young age and they had to spend their lives with the groom their family chose.
But, with awareness and women empowerment, women also realized that they need not be in bad relations where they are abused and not respected.
So, women also started taking a stand and choosing their own personal happiness rather than the happiness of the society and family which conditions them to live with the groom without their happiness.
Lose sense of Morality
Divorces are not always because of the need to be happy and sorting out one’s life. It is also because of losing a sense of morality. The society of today does not have a very good and solid sense of morality.
The morality where everyone had just one partner for all their lives has been changed.
Now, people do not hesitate to keep affairs and look out for a better partner. So, this loses the sense of morality also creates a bad environment which leads to high divorces. It not only breaks husband wives, but also the whole family and the worst hit are the children.
A unique reason for divorces in Nepal has also become the condition of the country. Since the country lacks sufficient jobs and employment, people start going abroad. Daily at least 2000 Nepalese go out of Nepal to other countries for employment.
Some of these people leave their families and spouses behind. And when they are working away from the country, the families tend to break apart. Because of this, many divorces are seen to occur.
The condition is so much worse in the villages of Nepal that many families have been torn apart because of divorces.
Many children have lost a good family to grow up and realize their dreams in. It is a very sorry state of affairs that the country is going through because of high divorce rates.
All of these points play a big role in increasing the number of divorces in the country. The high divorce rate is not a good thing to have in any society because it indicates how society is unstable in its relationships.
With a divorce, not only the husband-wife are affected, but also affected are the children and two families that have been involved in the marriage. The social structure of Nepalese is very close-knit in Nepal. Families live together and depend on each other.
Parents still prefer to live with their sons. So, with one divorce in the family, a lot of people are affected. Such an effect is not a good one either. It destructs family and has a bad influence on the children also.
High rates of divorce are never good for society. However, pretty low rates owing from illiteracy and lack of self-respect is also not a good situation to be in.
So, the best way to approach is to take relationships seriously. One should not break off and ask for divorce just because of a low sense of morality. But, at the same time, one should not stay in a relationship even though one is not happy and is abused day after day.
It should be approached very sensitively. The best way is to address high divorces is to make people aware that relationships need commitment and work. One should work hard to maintain it.
And only if it is beyond repair should one end it. Ending relationship should not be an option that easily accessible. Even legally, attempts should be made to enable the partners to stay together rather than just breaking the relation they are in.
For this, the nature of arranged marriages should be changed in Nepal. Arranging a marriage is not a bad thing. It is good that all the people are concerned about the partner you should have in your life. But, having said that, it should not be forced into anyone.
The individuals who are to spend their lives together should have the last say in any relation. They should meet each other and carefully find out if two of them are a good match and are compatible with each other.
If compatibility is not an issue and both decide that they can be happy with each other, then only they should marry each other and decide on starting a family. If this happens, the rates of divorce will get very low in Nepal as well. The well-being of both the parties, husband and wife and their respective families should be taken into consideration.