Arranged marriage in Nepal
Arranged marriage is the most common marriage in Nepal. Basically, the elder generations have belief in this type of marriage; however, most of the youths of today’s generation still are in support of arranged marriage. So, this type of marriage is supposed to last longer here in Nepal.
Generally, in Nepal, when children are in between 20 – 25 years of age, their parents start to search for a suitable spouse for them. So, they spread the message to their relatives so that they can help in searching for a suitable spouse for their children. They even hire a lahmi (marriage broker).
On searching, various proposals may come from the lahmi and on deciding the best one, the wedding planner will begin. If everything goes right, marriage will be successful. So, parents play an important role in deciding the marriage of their children in Nepal.
This is a typical example of an arranged marriage in Nepal. If you want to know more about marriage rituals in Nepal, then please view my another article where I have described the marriage rituals in Nepal in detail.
There is various castes, religions, cultures, and tradition in Nepal. Newars living in Kathmandu has different marriage ritual compared to Sherpas living in the Himalayas. Brahmins living in the hilly areas have different traditions compared to the Tharus of Terai.
Hindus may go to temples for marriage while Christian celebrates marriage in Church. No matter which castes they belong to or which religion they follow and where ever they live, one thing is common in all of them and that is, they all give priority to arrange a marriage for their children.
That is why Parents play the first role in the marriage of their children.
Arranged marriage has been a tradition in Nepal. Though nowadays, love marriage is getting popularity the first choice to the family is always arranging marriage.
From their forefather to parents, they all have adopted arrange marriage and they expect to adopt this tradition by their children too. One of the key things in Nepal to Arrange marriage is that it is the most successful marriage according to the research.
Couples who have adopted Arrange marriage are found to stay longer and happier than that of love marriage. This data might give some reason why arrange marriage is most popular in Nepal, however, let us analyze the reasons why most of the Nepalese are attached to arrange marriage.
One of the most common answers from Nepalese parents, when their children are not ready to get married, is,’’ At your age, I gave birth to 3, 4 children. In our time, we used to get married in 10, 11 years of age.’’ So, by giving these types of funny answers which was true at their generations, they try to convince their children.
One of the reasons why most of the Nepalese parents preferred this type of marriage is due to the fact that it is prevalent from the generation to generation. They want continuity of this tradition.
Another reason is that most of them want their daughter in law/Son in law to be of their own caste, own religion and of the same level of prosperity. And this is only possible through arrange marriage where they can choose based on this factor and finally get decided to the right one.
Marriage in Nepal is not only considered as the connection between a groom & a bride and their relationship. It is the connection between the two families. So, marriage is a very important part of Nepali society. It is taken as the prestige of the family.
When deciding the marriage, the family member of the groom’s side should accept the bride and the family of the bride’s side should accept the groom.
So, there is always a formal meeting between these two families to have mutual understanding and cooperation to know each other better. When the families agree, only then the wedding planner gets started.
One might be surprised to know that it is the very rare case of arranging a marriage that a groom and bride know each other. Otherwise, most of the couples even don’t know each other name.
They have never met each other; they never know each other and they are unaware of each other life. So, in arrange marriage, one stranger gets married to another stranger and they start a new life as strangers. This is a fascinating part of this marriage.
Sex before marriage is considered bad in Nepal. So, in Nepal, a groom and a bride are expected to be the virgin. They are supposed to have sex for the first time on their honeymoon after marriage.
After marriage, generally, the bride has to leave her home and live with her husband in his house which is completely new for her. She has to adopt a new lifestyle after her marriage.
The important parts maybe she has to respect each and every family members of her husband; she has to take care of his father in law and mother in law; she has to make her husband happy; she has to do the households works; she has to take care of the house and many more.
Generally, after marriage, it will take time for the new couple to know each other behaviors, passion, hobbies, and environments so that both of them will be comfortable with time.
Once they are attached to each other, they will fall in love and enjoy their happy married life. Then, children in their life add more value to their relationship and make it stronger.
See Also: Dowry System in Nepal – Marriage is supposed as making money
Overall, arrange marriage in Nepal has both good and bad aspects. The good aspect is that marriage has the full support of the family. Couples are stranger and their strange relationship will turn into love on time.
The bad aspect is that it’s the family that chose the partner for their children. So, it is often the case for the children that sometimes they are forced to get married to the one whom they don’t want.
Another is that starting a new life with a stranger is quite difficult.
So, the early days will be very hard for both of them because both of them are completely unaware of each other.