Arranged Marriage in Nepal
What is Arranged Marriage?
Arranged marriage is a type of marriage where two families, one of the groom and the other of the bride come together and decide on marrying the boy and girl while following a proper religious, cultural and traditional ceremony.
Arranged marriages are the customs in the eastern part of the world. In the west, however, love marriages are more popular. Arranged marriage is a traditional system in marriage in countries like Nepal and India.
Even though love marriages are on the rise in today’s world, the proper way of marriage is still considered to be arranged marriage. Arranged marriage is socially accepted whereas love marriages are still frowned upon.
It is more so because there are so many castes and religious groups living in Nepal and marriages are not applicable between all of the castes.
Inter-caste marriage, inter-religion marriage and inter creed marriages are not socially acceptable. When it comes to love, these kinds of demarcations do not work. It can be interreligious, inter-caste or between different classes too. So, society denies to permit it.
Also, arranged marriages are acceptable more because of the people in Nepal and India are more society and family oriented. When a marriage occurs only between two individuals, there are chances that families and societies are not compatible with each other.
In such a condition, the marriage will not work. But if it’s an arranged marriage, the society, community, and class, everything is matched, As a result of this, the match formed is also much more compatible with individuals, family as well as the society.
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Although this is not the ideal way to marry someone but, in this part of the world that is exactly what seems to work. If a certain couple falls in love and decides to marry against the wishes of their family and community, they will be left alone. There are higher chances that the family and the community will disown them completely.
There have been many cases where that has been an issue. As a result of this, even the marriage that takes place cannot survive the harsh realities of the society and fall into the traps which cause them to break off or get separated from each other.
In earlier times, even arranged marriages were not as open and easy as it is today. Those days, on different occasions, even the husband and wife would not be allowed to see each other before marriage.
Some of them would have met each other for the first time on the day of the marriage. In such cases, both could be forced to marry each other without their agreement. It was only the family and the community that decided the fate of married couples.
Things to be considered in an arranged marriage
Arranged Marriages are the marriages in which the boy’s and girl’s parents choose the marriageable person for their children. In a much broader sense, it is a marriage of a husband and wife chosen by their parents.
It is especially common in a royal and aristocratic family in the world. There are many things to be taken while doing an arranged marriage. Having an arranged marriage will help to lead the children’s life more fluently. The following are the things to be considered in an arranged marriage.
1) Knowing your partner well.
When your about to get married, make sure that your getting married to the right one because you are going to spend the rest of your lives looking after each other even in ups and downs. In arranged marriages, you need to understand your Bride To Be as you guys are strangers.
Get to know each other and spend time if you guys are from the same city or the same place. Since you guys are complete strangers to each other, it is mandatory that you guys understand each other of what kind of people you both are.
2) Do not expect much
If you have unrealistic expectations as to such building castles in the air and getting something that you always wanted well, clear it out before the marriage. If you want something then firstly see the status of your spouse and if he is able to provide you such then only ask or expect for building castles.
3) Knowing parents in law
It is important to know from which background is your spouse from. Most importantly Parents in law. It is better to know how is your parents in law are. Just like spending time with your spouse, one should try spending and understanding their parents as well before marriage. To make things easier even after the marriage has a talk with your in-laws to figure out.
4) Do not hide your past
Everyone has a past and it is not always good. Sometimes a relationship ends due to unknown secrets or maybe end it for good. It is important to talk about your past with your partner. Keep no secrets as many obstacles may come after marriage if you hide. Also if your partner does not accept your past then he is not for your future.
5) Show your true self
Do not hide your true face and do not show things that you are not. Don’t pretend to be someone your not. Stay true to yourself and stay true to your partner as well. Probably girls, don’t get scared to show your flaws to others.
6) Caretaker of the home
You have to be well prepared for performing all the household works at the home. Also, you should let the in-laws know about your works and passion so that they won’t stop you for no reasons.
7) Know about equality
Of course, one should try to know about the partner’s stance and about gender neutrality. It will be hard to spend life if one is still stuck with traditional norms and values.
8) Giving a chance for being positive
One should look positive into another for making things right. Do not taunt your partner with the past things and instead of making your partner look bad, you should give a chance and look for positivity in them.
9) Having Interests
You guys are strangers which keeps it simple that you guys are more interested in each other so it will be better if you guys keep interested in knowing each other. Both of you are unaware of likes and dislikes of each other which keeps you interested in each other for a long time.
10) Grow Love
Before marriage not both of you are much understated with each other so it is better to give love as one of you may be living a tough life. Living life and going through experiences is what grows your love for the person.
11) Ensuring a future
In arranged marriages, one ensures a future with the spouse. The stress and pressure of finding someone also goes away as with arranged marriages stress are never there for finding the right one for you so you gotta be ready for what’s ahead of you.
12) Planning the future
While choosing the partner make sure that you are planning the future one for you as well. The planning of future thinking also helps in improving the relationship between you and your partner. You must confess about your plans for the future and listen to your partner’s plan as well.
Hence, you should meet the person personally and try understanding him. Also, do not be very imaginative and keep in consideration that every human has flaws and we should learn to accept things as they are. In an arranged marriage, there is no love before marriage like love marriage. You should think twice before saying yes to arranged marriages.