I do not believe that the friendship between man and dog was lasting if the meat of the dog were edible.
In this life, they do not forgive you if you stop winning, and they hate you if you always win.
Love is blind, marriage returns your sight. Women do not have to be understood, you just have to buy clothes and shoes and that’s it. When a woman tells you OK in an argument, it is because she has decided that she is right and that you are a poor idiot.
Do not miss the beautiful habit of sneezing on your hand and then wiping it on a friend’s back in the form of a caress. Study until you die, you will be a cultured corpse.
I can not stand those who always seek the approval of others, I hope they agree with me. I wanted to kill myself by taking 100 aspirins, but when I was just going with the second, I felt much better.
If the cow were honest, the bull would not have horns. If studying is a path, copying is a shortcut. If someone steals my wife, there is no better punishment than letting him keep her.
Women do not have clothes, they have closets full of clothes that they do not have to wear.

If you do not do it right the first time, skydiving is not your thing. The best thing about you is to listen to your silence. Why do not you shut up?
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April Fools Day Funny Wishes
Some students are sorry to go to the racecourse and see that even horses manage to finish their careers. The dermatologist is the only doctor who can give superficial diagnoses.

Speaking is the art of suffocating and interrupting thought. He who is not assured of his memory should refrain from telling lies. He who seeks heaven on Earth has fallen asleep in geography class.
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To love is not to take anyone’s place … if not to create a place that nobody can occupy. Of course, I love you, that’s why I do not want to get married, you do not see that the main cause of divorce is marriage.

Laughter is a tranquilizer without side effects. Love is a splendid thing … until your wife surprises you. Every brother is interested in a sister, especially if that sister is someone else’s.
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If you find your boyfriend with another woman, breathe deeply and keep calm, so you will not fail when you shoot. A girl goes to a library and asks the librarian: The rights of women? to which the librarian responds: In the science fiction section.

Turtles know how to fly, what happens is that they are so slow that they can not take off. Foolishness is the strangest of diseases, the sick never suffer, and those who suffer are the others.
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Men would lie much less if women did not ask so much. If there were no convicts there wouldn’t be any good lawyers.

The first day I saw you, I threw myself at your feet and not because I loved you, but because I slipped.

He was such an ugly man that when he was born, the doctor apologized to the family.

April Fools Day Funny Wishes
The first half of our lives is spoiled by our parents, and the second by our children. Man is born without teeth, hair, or any type of illusions. And the same thing happens when he dies: without teeth, without hair, and without illusions.

A bank is a place that lends you money, as long as you prove that you do not need it. To get a loan you must show the bank that you do not need it.

For four hundred years underdeveloped countries have had a great future.

All of us are born originals and die copies. One is a slave to what he says and master of that which is silent.
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Studying is distrusting the intelligence of the partner next door. The Experience is a comb that comes to you when you’ve gone bald.

Children in the front seat can cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat can cause children.

If you can smile when everything is wrong, it is because you have already discovered who to blame. If you are looking for something: Google, if you are looking for someone: Facebook, if you can not find something: MOM.

Some bosses are like clouds when they disappear, the day becomes wonderful. Do not worry, quitting is easy, I’ve left it like a hundred times.

Women are like pools: their maintenance costs are very high compared to the time we spend in them. Some women love their husbands so much that, in order not to use them, they take that of their friends.

87% of young people suffer from back pain. The other 13% do not have a computer. You can learn a lot about love in movies … if you do not get distracted by the movie.
Money does not bring happiness, but as soon as the first one leaves, the second follows it. I have the salary as menstruation: once a month and it lasts only four days.
Now to erase someone from your life is a roll, you have to delete him from WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter … it is better to kill him. It takes patience to hear, but it takes skill to pretend that you are hearing.
April Fools Day Funny Wishes
In an exam: 1) Look at the sky for inspiration, 2) look at the ground in despair, 3) on the sides for information. At my graduation: I want to thank my parents, brothers, friends, and especially Google and Wikipedia!
Since the speed of light is greater than the speed of sound, certain people seem bright before we hear the bullshit they say.
Happiness…? Happiness is finding a WI-FI signal without a password! If you drink, do not drive, you could spill the drink.
A lie can rotate 6 times around the world before the truth has had time to put on the pants. Slavery was not abolished completely, it was modified to 8 hours a day.
Eternal love lasts approximately 3 months. Men are like dogs, they come back again and again. Women are like cats, you scold them once and they leave.
If suicide were fashionable, we would have got rid of many idiots. Some people are living merely because murder is illegal. The mothers-in-law were invented because the devil could not be everywhere.
Do you want a man to stop sexually harassing you? -Marry him. How does a man look like a public telephone? There are many but few serve. How to choose the three dumbest men in the world? -Random.
Behind a great man, there is always A woman surprised. How are men similar to pizzas? -In that 10 minutes after calling, you have them knocking on your door.
What is a man on a donkey? -A two-story donkey. How does a man look like a computer? -When they drop the system they do not work. How does an intelligent man resemble a dinosaur? -The two are extinct.
April Fools Day Funny Wishes
How are men similar to places to park? -In that, the good ones are already occupied and those that are left are disabled or are too small. How are men similar to popcorn? They satisfy you but merely for a little while.
How are men similar to used cars? Easy to obtain, cheap and unreliable. How are men like dolphins? It is said that they are intelligent but it has not been demonstrated yet scientifically.
How is a man like a swing? That first, it’s fun, but then it’s tidal. Why when men told something goes in one ear and out the other? Because the sound does not travel in a vacuum.
April Fool’s Day Funny Quotes
Why do most women drive badly? Because all driving instructors are men. Why do women’s jokes always occupy two lines? To be understood by men. Why do men like cars and motorcycles so much? Because they are the only thing they can handle.
How do you drive a man insane in bed? – Hiding the remote control of the TV. What are the perfect measurements of a man? 80-2-80 … (80 years, 2 infarcts, and 80 million in the bank account).
How is a man like Windows? That every time it comes out it seems that it includes everything, but in the end, always appears a version that replaces it. Why does man bend his head to think? So that your two neurons make contact.
Why do men have a clear conscience? Because they have not ever been used. How are men similar to matches? When they get hot, they lose their heads. How are men similar to a dog? They look at you and they seem to understand you.
What is a transvestite? A man wanting to outdo himself. In what month do men commit less stupidity? In February, because it only has 28 days. What has ten arms and an IQ of 60? Five men watching a football game.
Why do married women never get drunk? Because they can not bear to see their husband twice.
Five centimeters more and I would be a king. Five centimeters less and you would be a queen.
April Fool’s Day Funny Quotes For Girlfriends
My boyfriend left me because I did not pay attention to him or something … I did not listen well to what he said.
Twitter? A machine gun with 140-character caliber hints. On Facebook, friends judge you, on Twitter strangers understand you. Typical: You have a misspelling in a tweet and suddenly ALL your followers become professors.
Twitter: The only place where you do not get scared if a stranger follows you. Admit it, if it were not for Facebook you would forget 99% of birthdays. Twitter is to throw a bottle with a message to the sea and wait for someone to read it.
Facebook is like a prison. Why? – You sit down, you waste your time, you have a profile picture, and you write on walls. Some Facebook photos should have the option instead of having a like option: It scares me.
What happens at a party, stays at the party … until they tag you on Facebook. Loving without being loved is like tweeting something and nobody does RT. The good thing about having a boyfriend on Twitter is that they are all handsome and sexy.
What happens on Twitter, stays on Twitter, but what happens on Facebook, becomes gossip. Facebook looks a lot like my fridge. I know there’s nothing there, but I still check it every 10 minutes …The big difference between Twitter and Facebook is that on Twitter they limit your stupidity to 140 characters …
If Twitter were a planet, Facebook would be like Mars. It is suspected that it has intelligent life but it is not proven.
Throw me the pineapple, throw me the lemon, throw the key of your heart to me. Girl, you have me confused, salty on the outside, and sweet on the inside. For you, I would climb to paradise by bicycle and descend without brakes.
I would like to be candy to dissolve in your mouth. Now that you’re away from me, you do not know how much I miss you … but how much fun I have!
Do me a favor, do not bother me again, I do not want to know anything about you. Do not send me any more messages and do not even call … disappear from my life, it’s more, delete my messages and my number … Forgive me but my dentist told me to stay away from sweet things like YOU.
My stomach always hurts when I eat chocolate, surely if I eat you, I’ll die of indigestion. If happiness is water and love is fire, how I would like to be your fireman ..!
April Fool’s Day Funny Quotes
Go away, where no one can find you, but take me with you…If your body were jail and your arms chains, what a beautiful place to serve my sentence …
The protection of your embrace is a bomb shelter where I can lie down to dream without danger of extinction. Has spring already begun? Because you are the first beautiful fragrant flower I see!
Sorry if I make mistakes, it’s because my life came without instructions.
… If you are at a dead-end, can not you exit through the entrance? … Why is ‘separate’ written all together and ‘ altogether’ written separately? … What should one do if one sees an animal in danger of extinction eating a plant in danger of extinction?
… How do we know if the refrigerator light goes out when we close it? … Why is there no cat food with mouse flavor? … When a new brand of dog food comes out on the market with a better flavor, who can try it?
… If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how can we know? … Why do when they call us on the mobile we feel the need to start walking from one place to another?
… If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? … Why is there a swimming style called butterfly, if they can not swim? … It is known that very few people around the world understood Einstein. If nobody understands me, am I a genius?
.. Eight out of ten people use a pen to write … what do the other two do with the pen? … If we are composed of 80% water, how can we drown? … Why is it that when we do not have money, we find everything at good prices?
… Why do I have to go to the START button to turn off the computer? … Why was a movie called Mission Impossible, if they always do the missions?
One traffic light to another? Do not look at me, I’m changing. One wall to the other wall? See you in the corner.
I’m looking for someone who understands me, so I can explain it later. The brain is great, it works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. And it stops working right when you have an exam.
Funny Quotes About April Fool’s Day
I’m not afraid of death, I’m just afraid of when it happens I can not communicate on Twitter. I like to find money in my clothes, it’s like a gift that I make myself. I will go to sleep as God brought me to the world: Without brushing my teeth.
Maybe the love of my life is looking for me elsewhere and that’s why I have not found it. When a woman says: That you have to tell everyone, do not worry, they have already told everyone.
Women are not complicated, we just need LOVE, good clothes, shoes, love, understanding, more shoes, and more clothes!
I need a Google in my head, an Antivirus for my heart, and Photoshop for my face. If it were true that mistakes are learned, I would already have a Ph.D. in mathematics.
Sometimes I wish to become independent, but my family doesn’t want to leave the house. Nothing makes sense: I sleep 2 hours and I get up like new. I sleep for 8 hours and I get up dead.
NASA sent a robot to Mars whose battery lasts 15 years. NASA should start manufacturing cell phones.
If your girlfriend tells you to do what you want DO NOT DO IT! IT’S-A TRAP. The 3 loves of women: 1) Clothing 2) Shoes 3) Men who can buy clothes and shoes! I do not know, wherever you want. That’s what a woman says she does know where she wants to go, but she wants to see what you propose.
After all, I admire my parents because they finished school without Google and Wikipedia …A thief entered my house at dawn looking for money. I got up and we looked for it together, but we found nothing …
The phrase All men are the same was invented by a Chinese who could not find her husband.
Funny Quotes About April Fool’s Day
A dog bites a guy. The same dog bites the guy again. Title: Remorse. The Diaz family is on a plane. The Diaz family is on another plane. Title: Days fly by.
A computer expert believes that the ideal woman to become a wife must meet the criteria: COMPATIBLE, UPGRADABLE, MULTI-TASKING, USER-FRIENDLY and have an INTERFACE that is both attractive and ergonomic.
Hundreds of leading scientists work hand in hand to build a large computer, a powerful brain with the ability to answer and solve all the questions and secrets of the universe. Finally, they finish the computer and get ready to get the answer to the first question. With trembling hands, one of the scientists included the question: “What was the beginning of this world?” Then the computer answers: “Please see Genesis.”
The survey results about the signs of Internet addiction are: The bell in your house says “Click Here to continue”. Your bathroom door says “This site contains Adult Material, please verify your age”. Your dream always starts with HTTP: // www. You use a search engine to find your child who has not returned home for three days. You have difficulty moving your finger because you have been online for 36 hours.
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